Dear Tabby:

I am a perfectly gorgeous blue Persian who used to have her mommy all to herself. A few months ago, mommy got a new boyfriend and I don't like him. She doesn't pay as much attention and he won't let me on the bed. When mommy isn't looking he kicks me or says mean things like, “You think you're precious but you're just a dumb cat.” What should I do?

Princess Purrsalot

Dear Princess Purrsalot:

Wait until both are asleep and then pee on the bed. But make sure to pee on his side so mommy gets the message. Make sure to be cuddling her when she wakes up and when he yells, act scared, leap into her arms and purr. Keep doing this and she will send him to the pound.

Write Jenny

Don't understand your people? Email Jenny with any people questions. If I can't answer there are plenty of fosters here who can help me. For example:

  • How do I get them away from their plates so I can eat the good stuff?
  • How can I get my people to use that little bed they gave me so I can have the good one all to myself?
  • How do I drive away that pesky dog?

Also follow:

Henri the Existential Cat @HenriLeChatNoir
Cat Food Breath @CatFoodBreath
Grumpy Cat @GrumpyyCat

 

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