Dear Tabby

I was watching Anderson Cooper on CNN and he put my Vanity Plate on his Ridiculist as a ridiculous vanity plate. You might ask why I would be writing you, but I have a very good reason. You see, my life partner Cinthea and I have gone through a rocky period and one of the things we agreed on as we decided to rechart our relationship with a new start was that we should foster three Siamese from the kill shelter in our community outside of Dallas.

We were watching Arrested Development on Netflix and the character Tobias Funke had also been going through a rough patch, well, if you know the show he has been going through a rough patch for the entire series but that's neither here nor there, so he decided to chart a new start for his own life and symbolized that with a vanity plate: “ANUSTART.”

Cinthea and I were so taken by that idea that we had the same vanity plate made in Texas, but with a Siamese cat on it to symbolize our new rescue efforts. We are proud to drive our Mini Cooper, especially on the George Bush Freeway, letting people know about our new Siamese start. And people have been honking and waving.

We were inspired to buy this vanity plate by an episode of Arrested Development.

How dare Anderson Cooper make fun of the good will and good faith of people looking to make fun of people looking to make a new start on their lives. Shame on him. And we don't say this because he's LGBT, since we are proud members of that community as well and believe LGBT marriage is an essential part of the ANUSTART philosophy.

Being Siamese yourself, and not just Siamese, but profoundly polydactyl we thought you, of all cats, would appreciate our predicament, and thought our outrage might be more likely to come to Anderson Cooper's attention if we were to bring this to the attention of you and your fans than if it were to end up lost in his email box.

In fact, we were hoping to encourage your readers to join an ANUSTART campaign with us. Maybe we could convince Austin Siamese Rescue to sell Siamese ANUSTART t-shirts. What do you think? Then we could take group photos and send them to CNN! That would put Anderson Cooper in his place.

Siamese solidarity!

Simone de Simonroe

Dear Simone:

I am grateful that you think I could be of some assistance, even though I have absolutely no influence over humans that I am aware of other than to pester my own mother when I am hungry or want her to clean the litter box. I can’t get daddy to do much of anything other than to pick me up and pet me. I don’t even know what an Anderson Cooper is, but I will scratch at mommy’s leg and maybe she will do something about it. Right now she and daddy are just laughing and forwarding your email to all their friends.

Write Jenny

Don't understand your people? Email Jenny with any people questions. If I can't answer there are plenty of fosters here who can help me. For example:

  • How do I get them away from their plates so I can eat the good stuff?
  • How can I get my people to use that little bed they gave me so I can have the good one all to myself?
  • How do I drive away that pesky dog?

Also follow:

Henri the Existential Cat @HenriLeChatNoirCat Food Breath @CatFoodBreathGrumpy Cat @GrumpyyCat

 


Posted by in People behavior Tags: