Your people are your pets

Category Archives: Behavior Modification

Dear Tabby

Last week you very reasonably answered my question about how to punish mommy when she locks me in a room overnight. But mommy seems to think I should take some of the blame. She says, “Just because a door is open doesn't mean you should go inside.” But what else is an open door for?

Ricky

Photo Credit: Life With Cats

Dear Ricky:

People seem to think opening doors is for moving from one room to another. They don't understand that open doors are an invitation to explore. A cat can't see an open door without exploring. Who knows what's hiding there? So your mommy should just leave the door open, and with proper training, she will.

Follow your mommy around for a week or two. Every time she opens the door, dash inside. If she calls you, don't come out. If she closes it, immediately start scratching and yowling until she opens the door. But don't leave the room just sit there. It worked with our mommy Carol. Now she never closes a door and we can all pile on mommy and daddy's bed at night.

My mommy Carol says that your mommy shouldn't bother to close the door because Stephen and Nathan are just going to open it and leave it open anyway. But then she said that if she leaves it open, Stephen and Nathan will close it just because that's what thoughtless boys do.

Boys are terrible thoughtless creatures. Daddy Phillip used to let his boy stay and he would carry us around by the neck and lock us in closets and shout at us to scare us when Daddy and Mommy weren't looking. There is good news. He disappeared a few years ago, and we hardly every see him. Stephen and Nathan will probably go away too.

Write Jenny

Don't understand your people? Email Jenny with any people questions. If I can't answer there are plenty of fosters here who can help me. For example:

  • How do I get them away from their plates so I can eat the good stuff?
  • How can I get my people to use that little bed they gave me so I can have the good one all to myself?
  • How do I drive away that pesky dog?

Also follow:

Henri the Existential Cat @HenriLeChatNoir
Cat Food Breath @CatFoodBreath
Grumpy Cat @GrumpyyCat

 

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Dear Kitties,

Don't forget to leap on the stove and lick up the grease when it's cool. That's the tastiest part.

Jenny

Thanks, Yasmine.

 


Dear Tabby:

I am a perfectly gorgeous blue Persian who used to have her mommy all to herself. A few months ago, mommy got a new boyfriend and I don't like him. She doesn't pay as much attention and he won't let me on the bed. When mommy isn't looking he kicks me or says mean things like, “You think you're precious but you're just a dumb cat.” What should I do?

Princess Purrsalot

Dear Princess Purrsalot:

Wait until both are asleep and then pee on the bed. But make sure to pee on his side so mommy gets the message. Make sure to be cuddling her when she wakes up and when he yells, act scared, leap into her arms and purr. Keep doing this and she will send him to the pound.

Write Jenny

Don't understand your people? Email Jenny with any people questions. If I can't answer there are plenty of fosters here who can help me. For example:

  • How do I get them away from their plates so I can eat the good stuff?
  • How can I get my people to use that little bed they gave me so I can have the good one all to myself?
  • How do I drive away that pesky dog?

Also follow:

Henri the Existential Cat @HenriLeChatNoir
Cat Food Breath @CatFoodBreath
Grumpy Cat @GrumpyyCat

 



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